Only The Beginning
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: After the final battle at the barricade, Marius is visited by the ghost of an old friend. Sequel to The Last Night.


**Only The Beginning**

**So, here I am, back with a new story. It's a sequel to "The Last Night," meaning that it continues along the same storylines, which means E/M, but nothing too bad. I'm really sorry about my other stores, however. I just got a new computer, and I can't even access my stories in my account anymore, which is really a pain, but more to the point…my old hard drive crashed before I got a chance to transfer the files, so I lost the sequel to "Light and Darkness," the sequel to "That's Life, Get Used To It," (although I do have it written out elsewhere…) and another _Gorillaz _story that I had been writing. But that's off-topic. So please, enjoy! And review! **

Pain. That's all I felt. You'd think that you could imagine how it would feel when a bullet enters your body. You can't. It's the most unusual sensation I've ever experienced. It doesn't hurt…at first. I was lucky, though. I had just fired off my rifle and was ducking down to reload when the bullet caught me right between my shoulder and my heart. If I had been standing up when it hit, I'd be dead now. As it was, the force propelled me right off of the barricade and I must have hit my head on the ground, because the next thing I knew, I was lying in the mud, alone, at night, in the rain. We were right about one thing: they didn't attack until late in the day. The sun was setting by the time they fired the first shot, putting it, of course, right in our eyes. So it really couldn't have been very long between the time I got shot and the time I woke up, but the only thing I was aware of at the time was the pain in my chest. I could feel the blood between my fingers, although it didn't seem like I was bleeding that much anymore. The second thing I noticed was that I couldn't see anything. There were no lights near the barricade, which we thought was to our advantage, and the heavy cloud cover blocked out the moon and stars.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the sky, wondering how long it would be before anyone found me. Were all my friends dead? What if I died from blood loss before somebody stumbled across me? And even if someone _did _find me, what if they were from the other side? Would they care, or just let me die slowly?

That was when I heard the noise. It sounded like a slight shuffling, almost like something being dragged along the ground. My eyes had adjusted a bit to the darkness, but all I could make out were vague shapes. One of those shapes was moving toward me, though, and I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing for me, so I didn't make any noise.

As the figure drew closer, I could definitely tell it was a person…a seriously wounded person, by the look of it. I didn't have the energy to move away, so I just hoped that they were a friend and not somebody coming to finish me off. I wanted to live, I did. If only for Cosette. I just hoped she hadn't gone to England as they'd planned. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the shooting pains in my chest when the person spoke.

"Marius? Thank God you're alive!" I was awake now. But I still didn't want to open my eyes. If he really was as hurt as I first thought, I didn't want to see him. "Marius?" He sounded worried, now. I supposed that the least I could do for him was be strong and support him in his last minutes. I opened my eyes and tried to sit up, but the pain stopped me before I had even gotten off the ground.

The first thing I noticed after the pain subsided was that a thin beam of moonlight was shining onto the barricade. I started to look around, but he stopped me.

"Don't. You don't need to see this, Marius."

"Are they all…?" I couldn't bring myself to say the word 'dead.'

He nodded and tried to get a look at where I had been shot. I moved my hand away, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "I think you'll be okay, as long as you can get to a doctor. That bullet didn't hit anything vital."

"What about you?" I could see something dark dripping off his fingers.

"Don't worry about me." He gave me a weak smile. "I told you that I didn't expect to live through the battle…actually, I'm surprised I'm still alive. I guess I just couldn't die without knowing you were alright…" he trailed off, collapsing on the ground.

"Enjolras!" I pulled him closer to me and tried to see how badly he was hurt, but he pushed my hand away.

"I said don't worry about me!" His breathing was becoming labored, and it was starting to scare me. I don't think it had quite registered in my mind yet that everyone else was dead. I was still having trouble imagining Eponine gone, and I definitely didn't think I could bear the thought of losing anyone else.

"Of course I'm worried about you!" I exclaimed. "You can't die, Enjolras! You can't leave me alone."

"Alone?" He laughed weakly. "You're not alone, Marius. I'll always be with you. And besides, you have Cosette, right? I already told you, the two of you will find each other. You'll get married, and have children, and forget about this horrible night. Believe me." His voice was getting weaker. "Besides, what have I got to live for? My father will probably disown me, dead or not, if he ever finds out about this.

"He's that strict?" I decided that talking about death wasn't the greatest topic of conversation, so I was trying to keep the tone light.

"Yes. He expects me to get a good education, start a business, get married, have loads of children and continue on the family name. He believes that…" he grimaced in pain, and I pulled him to my chest. "He thinks that the government is wonderful and that anybody who opposes them is doomed to rot in Hell for all eternity. If he knew I was a part of this revolution…forget that, if he knew I was _leading _the revolution, not to mention the fact that I'm in love with a man, he _would_ kill me himself."

This surprised me, because Enjolras had never openly talked about his home life before. I knew he was an only child and that his father expected a lot of him, but I never could have imagined something so over-the-top.

"Marius?" From his tone of voice, I could tell that he knew he was almost spent. I was feeling a little light-headed myself, as moving around had opened up the wound again and it had started to bleed.

"Yes?"

"I love you. A lot. And I never thought I would have the nerve to say that to anybody. You know I'm not the most open person…not the most easy to get along with…but I want you to know that I've treasured our friendship since the day you ran after me on the street." He paused, seemingly at a loss for words.

"I know. I have, too. I just wish it could have ended some other way."

"There was no other way. There will always be people like us, you know. People who aren't content with the world they're living in or the people that are running it. One day, we _will _win the battle and free those who are oppressed. And if we do…you'll be able to say you knew those who started it all. Don't regret what was, Marius. Look to what will be." I nodded, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "I'm done, Marius. But I don't regret anything. If I could do it all again, I would. I'll see you again, my friend...someday…" With the last of his strength he pulled my head down and kissed me, and the next thing I remember was waking up in a bed with Cosette standing over me.

Since that night, I've been almost afraid to go to sleep. It's been a few weeks, and Cosette constantly berates me for not doing myself any favors. She's quite adamant that unless I try to heal myself I'll never get any better. But when I sleep, I dream…of them…my friends who died on the barricade. And the dreams are so vivid, so real, that I almost think I'll wake up and see them standing there.

But that's not the worst of it. I suppose that the wound must have gotten a little infected, what with the rain and the mud and the time it took to get me to a doctor, but I've been hallucinating…imagining I'm back in the old café, and the ghosts of my friends come in and just stare at me. I've seen all of them at some point or another…all of them, that is, except him. Maybe it _is _all in my mind and I'm just afraid how I'll react if I _do _see him again, but I believe that the ghosts are really there, somehow…and that he just doesn't want to see me. And I don't know what I could say to him, either. Was I okay with the fact that he loved me? Yes, surprisingly. It didn't come as a surprise when he told me how he felt, and, as I told him, if things had been different I very well could have fallen for him, too. I truly love Cosette with all my heart, but it's almost impossible to compare the two of them because they're so different.

As I sat there pondering this, I could feel my head start to spin and I knew I was going to start hallucinating again. I closed my eyes tightly, and sure enough, when I opened them I was back in the café. Only this time, it was empty. I looked around at the building, which had always seemed so full of life and laughter, but was now eerily quiet and almost forbidding, in a way. As if what had happened here was in the past and I had no right to be disturbing it.

I heard the door open and turned to face it, but the only thing that entered was a gust of wind. As I watched, the gust materialized and took shape, forming itself to look like a man…the man with whom I had dreaded meeting most. He gave me that sardonic smile of his and spoke: "Why, Marius, you look as if you've seen a ghost."

"I'm not so sure I haven't," I replied slowly. How _do _you carry on a conversation with a ghost? None of the others had spoken to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I suppose I could be asking you the same question," he countered. "But I think we both know why we're here. We need to talk."

"About what? I thought we'd clarified everything," I said.

"Not about that, Marius. Just…talk. Like friends do. I've missed you," he pulled his hand away from his chest and I could see the bullet wound, blood still seeping onto his shirt. I grimaced and moved my gaze up to look into his eyes. "So…how are you?"

"Fine." I didn't offer more than that.

"Marius, if you're afraid of offending me because I'm dead, don't be. Really, how are you?"

He always _did _seem to know how to read my mind, I thought wryly. "And really, I'm fine. Still a little haunted by the memory of that night, of course, but the wound is healing fine, and…"

"Cosette?"

"Well, she didn't go to England after all, and…we're getting married."

He smiled. "Good. I told you you'd find a way.

"And you? Why isn't your spirit up in Heaven, or wherever spirits go when they leave a body?"

"I should think the answer to that would be obvious, Marius. How will my spirit ever rest when the mission I died on isn't complete, yet? That would be like letting the other side win. I think my spirit is doomed to wander this earth until we're finally free. And one day, we will be, Marius. We will be!" There was a strange fire burning in his ghostly eyes.

"Did it hurt to die?" I couldn't stop looking at the bullet wound, which was still emitting a trail of ghostly blood.

"Hurt? No, not really. But maybe that was just because I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die. But you shouldn't have to ask that, considering how close you came to dying." He sighed and looked back at me.

"I'm still not sure I'm glad I didn't," I looked down, not meeting his eyes.

"Marius, how many times have we been over this? The reason we died is for people to live free; to live life for themselves. Don't you think the best way to honor our memory is to live like that?"

I had never really thought of it that way. As far as I was concerned, I had always felt that their sacrifice was basically in vain, but now I realized that it would only be in vain if those of us who could be following their ideas didn't. "I guess you're right."

"Besides…you made me a promise, remember? Your first-born son?"

"Yes, because we all need another one of you around," I replied wryly, surprised that I could still joke with him.

"I'm glad to see you're back to your old self, my friend." He returned my smile and dropped his gaze to something on the floor of the café. I followed his glance and saw a crumpled-up piece of red fabric on the floor. I reached down and picked it up, unfolding it to find a hole through the middle of it.

"What is this?" I looked back up at him.

He didn't answer, just continued to stare at the floor. The fabric looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I tried to remember where I had seen it, and suddenly it came to me. "It's from the flag, isn't it? But the hole…" I realized what had happened, then. "Defiant to the end, were we?"

"Marius, just because I _happened _to be waving the flag around when I was shot…"

"Enjolras! Why would you do that? It's almost as if you wanted to die…"

"Can't you think of a reason why? I was scared, Marius, when you got hit by that bullet and fell off the barricade. I thought you were dead. And if you were dead, I had nothing to live for. I merely thought that if it was to be my end, I wouldn't die cowering in a corner, afraid of what I had been fighting for. I'd die where they all could see that I was dying for a reason: because I believed in something important." He clenched his fist and smiled at me.

"You died for me. How do you think that makes me feel? First 'Ponine, then you? How many people have to die so I can live?" I said angrily, standing up.

"I can't answer that, Marius. I can only tell you that whatever choice I made felt right at the time. And I do not regret anything I did in that last battle. If a choice came again between dying so you could live, or living with you gone, I would not even have to think about it. Don't feel guilt, my friend, especially when it is not something you could have controlled." He sighed. "Are you mad at me?"

"Mad? No, Enjolras, I could never be mad at you, no matter how hardheaded you are. I'm just…confused, still, I suppose. Unsure of where my life will go, now," I walked over to stare out the window.

"If you want to forget about the whole revolution…forget anything ever happened, I would not blame you. I don't think it will be something that bears remembering," he replied quietly. "In fact, if you want to forget I ever existed, I would be accepting of that, as well."

"No…" I turned around and looked right into his eyes, which, despite the fact that he was a ghost, still held the same spark and intensity they had when he had been alive.

"Marius, you must understand what my life was like. I did not know love. Love was something that happened to everyone but me. I knew my duty, and that was enough. You're the first person to ever show me that maybe I was important, that maybe there were others who cared about me and believed like I did. And look where believing in me got them…"

"Now who's unnecessarily blaming himself? Any of them could have left, Enjolras, but they didn't. Because, like you, they believed that what they were fighting for was right. That's what's important, my friend. And as for you saying you've never known love, I believe that's a lie, too. I should know, because I love you," I didn't drop my gaze this time because, surprisingly, I wasn't ashamed of how I felt.

"Marius…" He gazed at me with a peace I had never seen in him when he was living and turned toward the door. "I must go; I've kept you too long already. But know that if you ever feel you need somebody to talk to, I will always be here to listen, my friend."

"I know…and you will never know how much I appreciate it."

"Oh, but I think I _do _know…" He gave me a half-smile and disappeared.

"Marius? Marius!"

"Hmm?" I opened my eyes and sat up from where I had slumped over onto the table. Cosette was staring at me in amusement.

"I told you what would happen if you didn't get enough sleep," she smiled. I shook my head to clear the last of the sleep away and remembered the dream…or was it a dream? It had seemed so real. And somehow, knowing that Enjolras was always there to talk to was a comfort…even if he was dead. I remembered our conversation and decided there was something I needed to ask Cosette.

"Cosette?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever think…we'll have children?" How do you ask that question?

She smiled again, replying, "I should hope so, Marius. Maybe having children will lighten you up. You're far too serious. But why would you ask now?"

"I asked because when I was sleeping I had a dream where I remembered a promise I had made to a friend about what I would name my first son. I just wanted to make sure you would not disapprove," I replied, standing.

"A friend? A friend who died that night?" She asked cautiously, knowing that talking about it was hard for me.

"Yes."

"You never talk about your old friends, Marius, so I would not know what he was like, but I am sure you wouldn't have made the promise if he wasn't a worthy man."

"He died for me," I replied quietly. "He didn't have to, but he did."

She gazed at me with sorrow-filled eyes. "I am sorry, Marius. I think it would honor his memory if we named a child after him, then. What was his name?"

"Enjolras. He was our leader," I added as an afterthought.

"Well, that is a very fine name. And you know, if you ever want to talk about what happened that night, I am always here to listen." Somehow, it didn't seem the same coming from Cosette as it had coming from Enjolras. Cosette couldn't possibly know the horror of those last few moments. But I smiled and thanked her nonetheless. Maybe it _was _just another hallucination, lack of sleep or some side effect of the wound healing, and I wondered if he would ever come to me in my dreams again…or if he really was a ghost, doomed to wander the earth until his task was complete. I smiled to myself. That _would _be just like him.

"Marius? What's that?"

"What?"

"That. In your hand," Cosette gestured. I looked down and uncurled my fist to reveal a small piece of crumpled red fabric with a hole shot through the center.


End file.
